About a week into my honeymoon, I earned a bruise the size of a dinnerplate on my upper back. The story involves an unfortunate incident with a jacuzzi and my own foolishness—but those details are beside the point. What mattered was my new husband’s reaction.
While I sank to the floor of the bathroom, fighting nausea at the sight of my black-and-blue back, he sat beside me, all compassionate calm. He normally would never be caught dead sitting on a filthy floor, let alone in a hotel bathroom, but he didn’t bat an eye as he stayed close to me while I recovered.
I have come to see this scene as the epitome of marital love. Pope Francis explained in his encyclical on love in the family, Amoris Laetitia, that when St. Paul says “Love is kind,” he means “love is ever ready to be of assistance.” (AL 93). My husband sacrificed his own preferences to honor, love, and be faithful to me in sickness, health, and hot tub-related injuries. During a time we expected to be all heart-eyes and Greek wine, there was still trial. But assisting each other mattered more than our personal desires and expectations. That self-sacrificial love is the heart of Catholic marriage.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that the love between man and woman is an image of God’s unfailing love and “It is good, very good, in the Creator's eyes” (CCC 1604). But, sin has led to domination, infidelity, pain, and toil in the relationships of men and women.
The Catechism continues: “To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in His infinite mercy never refuses them. Without His help, man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them ‘in the beginning’” (CCC 1608).
In other words, marriage promises much bigger crosses than bathtub bruises, and the only thing that will sustain us is God’s grace.
Prayer, therefore, is indispensable.
As wonderful as my husband is, he can’t maintain God’s plan for patient, kind, selfless, generous love all by his own efforts. And I certainly have no chance of a holy, permanent relationship on my own—I can’t even soak in a hot tub without disaster striking. We need each other, and we need God’s grace.
February 7-14 is National Marriage Week. This year, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) has announced the theme “Man and Woman He Created Them: Together with Purpose.” The USCCB wants the week to center on the unique gifts of men and women and how these gifts complement each other, thereby offering a greater sense of purpose to Catholic couples. The week also marks the 10-year anniversary of Amoris Laetitia.
The USCCB, partnering with National Marriage Week USA, is offering many resources for couples to prayerfully strengthen their marriages. One is a guided lectio divina, which means “holy reading.” The packet includes a short Scripture passage for each day and instructions for how to pray with the words and discuss them. They also offer an at-home retreat for couples. Each day has a page of content for reflection including highlights from Amoris Laetitia, then prompts for discussion, action, and prayer. Additional resources are available at foryourmarriage.org, including podcast episodes, video series, and other prayers.
God’s plan for marriage—a fruitful, permanent union that teaches God’s love to the world and to children—is a tall order, but Our Lord promises to help us achieve it.
To all married people: remember that your wedding was not just a celebration of a promise, but also a Sacrament. Sacraments give grace. And the graces God has poured out upon you did not cease with the ceremony but continue to flow every day that you live out your vow. Turn to Mary and St. Joseph, the exemplary spouses, and rely on Jesus to sustain you all the days of your life.
By Genevieve (O’Connor) Anatalio, Communications Specialist of the Diocese of Allentown and Campus Minister of Muhlenberg College, Allentown. She holds an MTS in Moral Theology from the University of Notre Dame and an MFA in Creative Writing from DeSales University, Center Valley.
Photos by BGS Photography, LLC.
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