As part of its popular Defending the Faith series, the Order of Malta sponsored a presentation entitled, “The Truth of Sex and Gender” on Sunday, November 17, at Assumption BVM Parish, Bethlehem.
Addressing a gathering of eighty, Father Nikolai R. Brelinsky, Parochial Vicar at St. Joseph the Worker Parish, Orefield, asked a fundamental question: “How can we summarize this ideology?
“First is the idea that gender is not determined by the body, and that is what I would call the subjective approach.
On the other hand is that gender is, in fact, determined by something in our physiology, but it's not necessarily what the body shows, and that is a more objective approach.
Today, the subjective camp is much more prominent.”
Father Brelinsky referenced a John Hopkins University study stating that popular claims about gender are not supported by scientific evidence. Among those claims is that gender is “nothing but a power structure and a social contract that we've all come to.”
From that perspective, “even the family itself could be [thought of as] just a social construct.”
“We can deconstruct things endlessly,” Father cautioned, and ultimately, “just do whatever we want.”
Father Brelinsky noted that gender is often presented as simply “another form of self-expression.”
“Anybody could say, well, there’s a disagreement between what my body looks like, and how I choose to present or act.
“But if we don't have something that gives us definitions, then it's ultimately unreasonable and unknowable. It's not based in reality.”
He asserted that, in responding to gender ideology, we must “affirm that our true source of human dignity is the Imago Dei (Image of God), the fact that we are made in the image and likeness of God.”
Father observed that affirmation is often incorrectly directed at the feelings. But “that is unreasonable,” he said.
“If somebody says, ‘I feel like my life is not valuable,’ we don't just affirm those feelings. Absolutely not! Rather, we contradict them and correct them and say, ‘No, you are valuable. You are loved.’”
Proper affirmation, Father stated, is directed “to the human person” who has “infinite dignity” apart from his feelings or choices.
Father Brelinsky went on to offer a few practical tips for engaging in discussion.
“There are two different situations in which we could be talking about gender ideology. The first is with somebody who is himself experiencing a difficulty and, in that case, compassion especially has to show through. Or it might be with somebody who wants to argue.
“In both circumstances, we must respect the person in front of us.
Don't let it go unsaid that the person is loved and appreciated.”
Not only is it “good to listen before responding,” he said, but it’s important to choose words carefully.
“Avoid using ‘should’ and ‘shouldn't’, as in ‘You should do this, you shouldn’t do that.’ That's an immediate turn off.”
Noting that it’s wrong to “make assumptions about people,” Father quipped, “the Blessed Mother can assume, but we can't!”
Finally, “seek a common ground,” he urged. “Our faith and our Church are for everyone, for sinners just as much as for saints.”
Father Brelinsky closed his talk with an exhortation to “be vigilant in prayer.”
“If somebody has made a certain decision and doesn't want to talk to us, pray for that person. The prayer shouldn't be, ‘Dear God, make this person the way that I want them to be,’ but, ‘Lord, Your will be done. I desire the salvation of this person because I love them. I can't make their salvation happen, but you can. And so, I put that in your hands, and I trust in You, Lord.’”
A question-and-answer period followed the presentation, and refreshments were served afterwards in the Jubilee Center.
You can listen to the full talk here.
Photos by Rey Gabriel.
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